I am sure like me, you are in a bit of a head spin around how quickly the focus in schools and indeed in our federal parliament and by the media, has brought to light the issues around peer to peer relationships and the crucial role of consent. Given this current media reporting around respectful relationships, which began when we recognised sexual abuse survivor Grace Tame as Australian of the Year, it’s apparent that more needs to be done to equip our young people with the skills and understanding necessary to engage in healthy and respectful relationships. As a community we have a collective responsibility to raise respectful and empathetic young people. They are entitled to an education that explicitly teaches consent, respect and sexuality in a contemporary context.

We acknowledge the discomfort and anxiety these topics can bring – for both our young people, and for parents navigating these discussions at home. As part of our commitment to providing a complete education, we are sometimes faced with confronting discussions with students. It is of utmost importance though that, as both teachers and parents, we do not shy away from uncomfortable topics. It may feel as though our students are not yet ‘ready’ for some of these challenging topics, however it is important they are informed and educated before they find themselves in situations where they may be unsafe, or are at risk of making ill-informed decisions about their relationships and their bodies that don’t align with their values.

As a College we take this responsibility seriously and so in the secondary school, we are currently auditing where and how we address respectful relationships, consent, and sexual health. We continue to regularly review our program to ensure that it is up to date, age and stage appropriate, and assists all students to make wise decisions and feel safe both at school and outside of school. These topics have historically been delivered during My Wellbeing or Personal Capacity lessons across a range of Year Levels, following on from the B.A.R.E. Program, which students engage with in the St Andrew’s Primary Years.  Our team, including Dean of Students Cameron Piper, College Psychologist Sarah Padbury, and teacher in charge of Personal Capacity curriculum, Lauren Norbury, are engaging with a range of experts with the view to developing and delivering an improved Respectful Relationships curriculum. Education about sex, relationships and consent must form a critical part of the curriculum and continue to evolve in response to the changing social environment. We understand that it is important to provide clear instruction and positive modelling around healthy relationships and it is imperative that advice and education around the nature of consent is presented to our students. Despite the robust discussions and education that we already provide for our students, we are cognisant that we need to do more in order to respond to entrenched unhealthy societal norms that allow disrespectful behaviour to continue across Australia.

However, this is not a one-sided issue as the media might like to portray it, particularly as it targets some of the higher fee-paying schools in NSW. What a few Principals have said in response to the concerns raised about appropriate education programs they offer is that we can only do so much. As I wrote in my article last week, when parents allow extraordinary freedom to our children, when parents support the hosting and attendance at parties where alcohol is provided, then we are not helping the situation. Parents need to stand up collectively to what is happening outside of school hours. Teenagers are not adults, and developmentally they still need guidance, supervision, support and consequences. My focus on building connections with and between parents, as I have said on several occasions is not just about social engagement. It is about empowerment. Providing you as parents with the confidence to begin to bring back the boundaries that so many of our young people need. The confronting reality is that we are all responsible for educating the next generation to ensure they are safe, treat others as they would like to be treated themselves, and that they develop an understanding of what respectful relationships look like. It starts at home and is supported and re-enforced by the College.

We have a wonderfully supportive culture at St Andrew’s, and respectful relationships are one of our value statements and this makes our College such a positive one. We cannot, however, take this  culture for granted, and indeed we should continually reinforce the need for all members of our community to act with kindness, integrity, courage, and respect for others. 

Parents for each year level will receive a communication prior to their student engaging in Respectful Relationships lessons and the College will provide supporting material for those who wish to continue discussions at home.

If any of this information has raised concerns for you, please contact;
Lifeline 13 11 14 (24/7)
Queensland sexual assault helpline 1800 010 120
Beyond Blue 1300 22 46 36
Our College pastoral care teams

Best Wishes
Rev Chris Ivey